Something About Me

Born a Virgo I am a pretty accurate and punctual person. That is the good side. The downside is that I love a laugh and a party and frequently go one step too far. Nine years ago I had the good fortune to marry the beautiful Margaret who has developed a fairly direct means of restraining me. Though she cannot stand the game of football, she has adopted the soccer card system. A yellow card slows me down now and a red card nearly always causes me to make a U-turn. The red card even worked in Stringfellows nightclub.

I have a knack of saying the wrong thing. To an American who lived in Wyoming, who was a fan of Inspector Morse and wanted to go to Oxford, I intimated that if he kept his eyes open there were sometimes cards on lampposts seeking extras for the programme and he might get lucky. Two days later I learned that he had been President of 20th Century Fox! At lifeboat drill on a ship to start conversation I mentioned that the equipment was not too flattering to the eye. Wrong move - the year before he had been on a ship which struck a reef in the Red Sea: they had to spend 24 hours on deck in fear of foundering.